50 Ways to Get Zakuro to Rip Your Head Off
by Mew-Sahara
Summary: 50 great ways to get Zakuro to rip your head off, and the more, the merrier. Warning: We are not responsible for any injuries that might occur to you in preforming these acts.
1. Chapter 1

**Well here we are. A new story! Whoot! I am borrowing a concept and slipping it into Tokyo Mew Mew. So if someone already did this, please forgive me. I was extremely hyper when this was written and I know it sucks. But please bear with it. If anyone has any suggestions, SEND THEM IN!! HERE WE GO!**

**Disclaim: Lawsuits screw you all. I don't own TMM OK?!**

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50 Ways to Get Zakuro To Rip Your Head Off

Note: We are not to be held responsible for any injuries that you might occur while trying to pull these tasks off. If you piss Zakuro off, it's your own fault.

When she comes to work, set a bucket full of water on top of the changing room door. Wait for screams.

Lock her in a closet with Pai. Results may very.

Kidnap her creepy little clone girl (A/N you know, from that episode of the anime?) and hold her for ransom. She has the money. As soon as you get the money, give her the kid. Repeat.

Make her work in the café serving tables. Make her smile, and act polite. And by the way, she's working alone.

Put a knockout pill in a glass of water, and give it to her. Once she's out like a light, string her up at a little kid's party. Once she wakes up scream, "PINATA TIME!"

Have her do training exercises by sneaking that smile machine used on Ichigo from Pudding, and putting it on Zakuro at night.

Draw glasses and a moustache on her face at night.

Find her cell phone, call her hairdresser, fake Zakuro's voice and tell them to shave Zakuro bald.

When Zakuro comes to work after the haircut, complement on how her shiny bald head matches her handbag.

Place her in Pudding's house and make her watch the kids alone. For 2 weeks. On end.

Show Mint her baby pictures. Of her butt-naked.

Tell her house on eBay, and when she gets home, hold up a box and say, "Guess where you are living now!"

When she goes to sleep yell loudly, "ARE YOU ASLEEP YET?!"

Ask a question, and when she answers, ask "Why?" Repeat.

Replace her shampoo with honey.

Send Ryou and Keiichiro on vacation and tell Pudding she's in charge. We are not to be held responsible for the other Mews trying to kill you.

Have Lettuce apologize to her for 3 hours telling you how sorry she is that she's telling you she's sorry, but you had put her up to it.

When Zakuro comes to you scream bloody murder and run like mad.

Dye her hair orange. Then shave it off. When she asks you why you did it, reply, "I was wrong. Orange is not your color."

Attack her with a nail gun. Tell her that Mint told you too.

When she goes to model, tell the other models that she secretly bleaches her skin everyday, and she's really an alien.

Every time she walks by, scream, "IT'S FUJIWARA ZAKURO!" Have hoards of fangirls/fanguys in the area at all times.

Lead all the café in the song that never ends. With Pudding as the lead singer.

Ask her if her whip can smack that all on the floor.

When she has cereal for breakfast, or tries to deliver it to people in the café, snatch it away yelling, "SILLY RABBIT! TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!" at the top of your lungs.

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**That's all for this edition of 50 Ways to Get Zakuro to Rip Your Head Off! I hope you enjoyed, and if you have ANY IDEAS PLEASE CONTACT ME!! Just because I know how to tick people off, does not mean that I can't run out of ideas. By the way look forward to 50 Ways to Get Ryou to Rip Your Head Off!**

**NOW REVIEW, MY COLLEAGUE TORTURERS! evil laughter **


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, people certainly like the idea of getting Zakuro mad at them, eh? Oh yes. evil grin Anyways, I'm so sorry that this took so danged long to get up, and I'm sorry that getting ****50 Ways to Get Ryou to Rip Your Head Off**** is taking so long as well. I've been busy as a bee (I wonder how busy bees are?) and in two days I'm leaving to go to Tennessee for two joy-filled weeks with my grandparents. If that wasn't sarcasm packed enough, then let me add that there shall be no Internet connection basically. …And now you begin to understand. But shall we get on with this? (Thanks to all the reviewers for ideas! The ideas are yours!)**

**Disclaimer: Screw the lawsuits, I have money. (Not really. But I felt like doing a quote, so there you go.) And –x-Taylor-x- and Psycho-Freak-Chick own some ideas they submitted. **

**P.S. And yes I realize that the last time it was not 50 ways to make her mad, it was 25. There will be 25 more here to make 50. And the numbers didn't show last time. Grr….**

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50 Ways to Get Zakuro to Rip Your Head Off

25. Slip Viagra in Mint's tea. Lock Zakuro in a closet with her, forcing her to read all yuri fics pertaining the two. Results may vary.

26. Place bets on who will die from AIDs first.

27. Stare at her and when she looks at you turn away. When she looks away from you, begin staring again. Repeat.

28. When she goes to take a shower fill the floor with mousetraps and lock the door. Wait for screams.

29. Start to sing, "It's A Small World" every time she comes near you.

30. After she goes to sleep, call her cell phone. When she picks up, immediately hang up and call again. Do this every night until she changes her number.

31. Put bleach in her shampoo.

32. Whenever she comes into a room throw a surprise party.

33. Ask Lettuce if she thinks Zakuro is a lesbian.

34. Drop a watermelon on her head from the roof. Then yell, "My prayers have been answered!"

35. Tell her agent that Zakuro actually works at McDonalds in her part time, and eats there almost every meal of the day.

36. Strap her to a chair and make her watch reruns of 'Mew Mew Power.'

37. Have a car alarm go off outside her window every night for hours on end.

38. Anywhere she walks, drop banana peels.

39. Stare at her long and hard, and announce that she is 34 years old. Proceed to poke her 34 times. (You may only reach one poke)

40. Switch all her clothes with dumpster bags.

41. Cut holes in all the dumpster bags.

42. Pet her and coo, "Good Wolfy! Let's play fetch!" Throw a stick at her.

43. Deprive her of all coffee, unless it is decaf.

44. Tape her to her bed and bring a flashlight out. Put it in her face and scream, "TRAIN!" Have train noises playing in the background. (Hint: use strong tape)

45. Replace her make-up with itching powder.

46. Make her breakfast. When she sits down to eat, shove her face in it and yell, "Glad you liked it!" and run.

47. Sit on her stomach at night and tell her that you see bread people.

48. Post this all on her blog.

49. Live.

50. Think up more ways to seriously bother her.

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"What the hell do you mean 'My prayers have been answered!'?" Zakuro screeches at you.

Mint walks by with Lettuce and says, "That freak is nothing like onee-sama, with those holey bags for clothes and ugly hair." Lettuce faints.

"ZAKURO-ONEE-CHAN! WE NEED YOU TO WORK IN THE CAFÉ AGAIN!" Pudding yells. Pudding grins as she sees Zakuro. "I always knew Zakuro-onee-chan had fashion style!" she cries triumphantly.

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**And so concludes the wonderful ways to get Zakuro to rip your head off. Look forward to Ryou's time to shine! I want to make this into a series, so if you have any ideas for ways to get any of the Mew crew and friends mad (I'm working on Ryou and Pai now) send them in with a review of PM. Thanks for reading!**


End file.
